Forced to Restore
I am worn out calling for help; my throat is parched. My eyes fail, looking for my God. Those who hate me without reason outnumber the hairs of my head; many are my enemies without cause, those who seek to destroy me. I am forced to restore what I did not steal. Psalm 69:3-4
Several years ago, I was going through a very rough time in life. Many issues from my past had cropped up again, issues I hadn’t had to deal with much since becoming a Christian. In my early faith life, it seemed like God had put this protective force field around me. I was so in love with Him, so eager to pursue my relationship with Him that little else mattered to me. Even when I had difficulties in life, they didn’t touch me very deeply emotionally. It was definitely a period of “honeymoon.”
Photo taken by Andrew Mason (flickr.com)
Then, after I had been a Christian for a few years, it seemed like my whole world came crashing down in a matter of only a few weeks. Issues I had dealt with in my childhood that I thought were long gone suddenly became issues again. During that time period, I felt like Satan had personally orchestrated the most devastating set of circumstances that could eat away at my self-confidence and faith. One night during this season of life, Psalm 69:4 jumped off the page at me: I am forced to restore what I did not steal.
That verse pained me, but it also comforted me. I did feel like I was forced to restore what I hadn’t stolen. I was forced to deal with issues that others had chosen to bring into my life. It was unfair, and I didn’t like it.
But at the same time, knowing that King David dealt with the same emotions I was dealing with was comforting. I felt less alone as I realized that sometimes life simply means dealing with junk that you didn’t cause. It may be unfair, but it’s not abnormal. Rather than throwing a pity-party, I was able to turn to God with my sorrow and ask Him for strength.
Have there been times in your life when you felt forced to restore what you didn’t steal? How did you handle those times? Did God provide a word, a friend, or some other method of encouragement to help pull you through?
